You don’t have to forgive. But if you want to obey God, Scripture is quite clear on the issue of choosing forgiveness.
Jesus says that when choosing forgiveness, we will be forgiven. Then he said, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (verse 15). What possible good can come to us if we knowingly disobey God? Just like a child who willfully defies a parent, our lack of forgiveness comes with consequences, the most critical of which is that we won’t be forgiven by God for our offenses.
And if we want the kind of power behind our prayers that can move mountains, Jesus tells us that if we hold anything against anyone we need to forgive:
I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins (Mark 11:23-25 NIV).
How Forgiveness Fuels Mountain-Moving Faith
Author Catherine Marshall talked about her struggle with forgiveness. She realized that Jesus talks about forgiveness right after mentioning mountain-moving faith. Then she determined that she would not hold “anything against anyone” that would limit the power of her prayers.
At the advice of a friend, Catherine started to journal. Writing helped her let go of the grudges, little things, and the major offenses she’d held against people in her life.
After reading Catherine’s story, I recognized that I often overlook the importance of dealing with petty irritations. My natural tendency is to discount these little resentments until I have a trash bag full of them. In my mind, I decided they were no big deal. In fact, I’ve heard people suggest forgiveness is needed only for deep wounds. We need it when we deal with major injustices and horrific abuses. But the truth is that “anything against anyone” means every offense, large or small, against anyone.
After hearing me teach at a conference, one woman wrote, “I decided to use my journal as a dumping ground where I could let go and release. I’m purposing to check my heart to see areas where I might be struggling in releasing someone from something. I’m bringing that to God, offering that to him [letting it go], and waiting for his work to continue in that room of my house—the bitterness room.”
How to Begin Choosing Forgiveness
When you struggle to forgive, one helpful tool is to practice reframing your thinking. Here’s how:
I don’t feel like forgiving, and it doesn’t seem fair to forgive. But I choose to forgive the little grudges and the big offenses because I want to be forgiven and have healthy relationships.
As you work toward your specific areas of forgiveness, know I’m praying for you and here to help.
Warmly,
Georgia
P.S. Today’s content was adapted from Taking Out Your Emotional Trash. If you’d like to read more, you can purchase your copy of the book here.
Or if you prefer to work with a coach as you work to overcome difficult habits, you can find out more information at www.GeorgiaShaffer.com/coaching/
Scripture:
“But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15, NIV).
