| “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
Psalm 42:5 NIV |
| One cloudy winter morning at the end of February, I awoke with what felt like an ever-present ache in my soul. Not having the energy to get out of bed, I just stared at the ceiling.
“God what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel better? Will I ever move beyond the emotional ache deep within?” I didn’t eat breakfast. I didn’t eat lunch. Right before my son was to arrive home from school, I decided to get dressed. I wanted desperately to be “normal” for him and decided to meet my then third grader at the end of our driveway as he got off the school bus. As I walked down the driveway, my legs felt as heavy as lead. Those fifty feet seemed more like fifty miles. I felt so weak, so tired, and so alone. The bus was running late so I sat on the macadam driveway and looked around at the dreary landscape. Thick gray clouds hung over frozen fields marked with rows of broken corn stalks. I shivered as I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head. “God, will this winter of my life ever end?” Tears streamed down my cheeks. As I bent my head to wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, I noticed next to me in the small flower bed around my mailbox some pointed green leaves poking their heads through the soil. My daffodils! I smiled through my tears and felt a boost of energy as I stood up to meet Kyle’s bus. Thank-you God for reminding me that no matter what the present season looks like, spring always comes. |
