Spiritual transformation ultimately stems from intimacy with God, not from human checklists. While God works in each relationship to bring about the particular growth needed, we still have unique opportunities to join Him in facilitating our own spiritual growth. Three things typically are helpful in the spiritual transformation process:
Recognize Your Self-Sabotaging Mindsets
Whether a mindset is caught or taught, any self-defeating way of thinking about God and the Christian faith can hamper your relationship with our Lord.
Here are some common mindsets that limit spiritual progress:
- If I love God, he will bless me with success.
- God must be disappointed in me because of the mistakes I’ve made.
- If Christianity was real, it would be easier and more natural to pray and read the Bible.
Thankfully, we can learn to identify and replace these defeating perspectives. (And it is often easiest to do so when we work with a coach or join a supportive group program of people who can walk alongside us!)
For example, I once heard of a woman who believed her life should become easier as she grew closer to Christ. When things became more difficult, she quickly became discouraged. With the help of her coach, she came to realize that being obedient to God would never make her immune to adversity. In fact, she might encounter more resistance as she moves forward on the path God has for her.
Gain an Accurate View of Who You Are
We often protect ourselves from seeing what’s really in our hearts and minds. Whether we make excuses, shift blame, play the victim or minimize our behaviors, we only deceive ourselves. Those closest to us, however, usually see the truth.
As we grow in self-awareness, we will become more willing to see our flaws.
When my former client, Macy, lost a large business account, she discovered she was not merely disappointed but devastated by the significant loss of income. During our next coaching session, she said, “As I prayerfully took time to reflect on what happened and my over-the-top reaction to it, I saw what I would describe as an ugly part of myself.”
“I didn’t want to share it with you,” she continued, “but knew if I was to grow, I had to be honest with God, myself, and you about the unflattering way I handled the whole situation.”
When we, like Macy, catch a glimpse of our unattractive side, we easily swing into in guilt, pain and shame. Self-condemnation keeps us trapped, rather than experiencing God’s love, forgiveness and freedom. We need others who can be a reminder of God’s love and grace while encouraging us to become who God created us to be.
Listen to Your Words
“My biggest fear is missing what God is calling me to do,” my client Trish told me.
Trish worked part-time in retail while following her passion to become a teacher. When the supervisor at her retail job offered Trish a full-time management position, Trish became confused.
“I thought I would become a teacher, but now I’m not sure what I want to do,” she said. “As a manager I would have a steady income…the pay is great. I can’t work full time and be a substitute teacher. I need to make a decision.”
As she discussed her options, she admitted that she wasn’t clear on God’s leading. “I want to seek Him because in the past I pretty much ran my life, making my own decisions which led to some deep regrets.”
“Do you need to give your supervisor an answer by a certain time?” I asked.
“No, they said I could keep my part-time position until I make my decision. But I’ve decided I’m going give them an answer by the first of the month.”
Since the first of the month was the following week, I said, “You mentioned earlier that your biggest fear is missing God’s calling. Yet, it sounds like you are going to make a choice in six days whether or not you sense God’s direction.”
Trish quickly responded. “Oh gosh, I did say that, didn’t I? I’m falling right back into my old pattern of getting impatient and rushing ahead of God. That is the very thing I don’t want to do.”
Hearing her own words helped Trish recognize how much she liked having quick closure. Because she was committed to changing this area of her life, however, she chose to slow down and wait for God.
Ultimately, Spiritual Growth Is Relational
Our responsibility is to start recognizing our self-sabotaging mindsets about God. We can grow in self-awareness and become more intentional about the choices we make. But the bottom line is that spiritual growth is relational in nature. We need others who will join with us to watch how God wants to work in our lives. |
