One concern that singles often express is, “I’ve honestly tried to let go and forgive, but as soon as I see the person, I get upset again and all the bitterness returns. Does this mean I haven’t forgiven them?”
While we often expect forgiveness to be easy or instantaneous, the truth is it can be a real struggle at times. Forgiveness is not only a choice we make but a process we move through. Instead of a once-and-done deal, it usually includes lots of little forgivenesses along the way. It’s normal to have negative feelings pop up toward those who’ve hurt us-especially when we still have to interact with them.
When you come face-to-face with someone who caused you harm, ask God for the strength to do what is right. I love what legendary football coach Tom Landry said: “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with the pain.” If your goal is to forgive, then you may go through some excruciatingly painful moments when you don’t feel like letting go of your desire for revenge. Despite those feelings, choose to stay in the process and just remember forgiveness is not a feeling.
Adapted from Georgia’s book
Taking Out Your Emotional Trash.
Send Georgia your questions – Georgia@GeorgiaShaffer.com
