Emotional clutter is damaging. It’s the insistent negative thought patterns we have toward ourselves, our circumstances, and even the people in our lives. It can consume us and harm us in significant ways. Living with the clutter distracts us from doing simple tasks and tears away at our relationships. We become so preoccupied with our concerns that we can’t relate in a real and intimate way. It’s crucial that we begin clearing emotional clutter and discover the peace that God intends for us.
Emotional clutter can harm more than our relationships with friends, family, and co-workers. Our relationship with God can suffer too. Oswald Chambers writes, “It is incredible what enormous power there is in simple things to distract our attention away from God.” Even simple tasks such as preparing a meal or entertaining friends can distract us if we give them too much of our emotional energy.
Whether our emotional clutter crowds out the voice of God, hinders our ability to connect with others, or paralyzes us, we need to take it seriously and remove what doesn’t belong. Like our jammed-full junk drawers, our hearts and minds are packed with all sorts of things, including insecurities and feelings of rejection, jealousy, and greed. How can we clear out some of this stuff? By looking at the common kinds of clutter—lies, guilt and shame, worries, and people-pleasing—and discovering how they can be purged.
How Do You Emotionally Declutter Your Life?
“Purge” is a descriptive word we all need to remember when clearing emotional clutter and keeping it from blocking our communication. We need to eliminate junk from our hearts and minds if we want to connect fully with others. It can feel a lot like cleaning out the cluttered areas of our home.
Years ago, my son and I faced a problem. We needed room for his car in my very cluttered two-car garage. I quickly discovered that deciding to clean out and reorganize a large area was one thing, and doing it was another. As I stood looking at shelves packed with stuff and piles of flowerpots, baskets, jars, cans of paint, tools, fertilizers, and sprays, I became overwhelmed.
For years, instead of discarding or giving away things, I’d chosen to store the extras and unused portions on large garage shelves. When those shelves became full, I bought larger shelves. When those got full, I started putting things on the floor in front of the shelves. We all know where this story is going, but it was such a gradual process over so many years that I didn’t realize what a huge project I was creating.
I tell myself that one of the reasons I hold on to so many things is because my parents grew up during the Depression. They taught me to keep almost everything. They said, “Don’t throw that out. Someday you may need it. You just never know when it might come in handy.” Another reason for accumulating clutter was that I started letting things pile up after my divorce. I was trying to eliminate emotional emptiness by filling up my physical environment.
Clearing Emotional Clutter Takes Time
Regardless of the reasons, after several weeks of good intentions but no progress on the garage, I felt defeated. I decided the best way for me to tackle the job would be to work on it a little bit at a time. An hour here and there would give me time to think about what to throw out, what to give away, and what to keep. The added benefit of this approach was that it would help me avoid giving up and just tossing everything in the trash.
The garage project took five months. What an eye-opening experience! I realized how many things I’d held on to that I should have removed years earlier. And now not only do I have more space—enough for two cars in the garage—but I also have more energy, more joy, and even more money since I know what I have and don’t have to buy more.
We can feel an even greater sense of peace and joy when we purge some of the emotional clutter that we hold on to. It’s not a fast, easy process, but when we stick with it and deal with each piece of clutter as we recognize it, we’ll make genuine progress. That will help strengthen our relationships with others. Our newfound freedom will help us draw closer to God.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence].
– Ephesians 4:31 AMP
Warmly,
Georgia
