My Thoughts and Stories

Gardeners call compost “black gold” because when they add it to garden soil, the plantings become more vibrant than those grown in regular soil. Similarly, compost in our lives is the rich fertile soil that results when we process grief and loss in healthy ways. When...

When I meet with and coach women as they try to navigate the emotions of their poor choices, they often say, “I can’t forgive myself.” They tell me that they can forgive others but can’t forgive themselves for the things they’ve done. They seem to feel better when...

  We often expect forgiveness to be easy or instantaneous. It’s not. The process of forgiveness entails choices we must make again and again. Perhaps you feel you’ve honestly tried to let go and forgive, but as soon as you see the person you get upset again and...

Forgiving others feels impossible while we’re angry. Christie recently broke up with her fiancé, and she had lots to be angry about. For starters, her fiancé and someone Christie thought was a dear friend had been sexually involved for months. Anger is a common...

You don’t have to forgive. But if you want to obey God, Scripture is quite clear on the issue of choosing forgiveness. Jesus says that when choosing forgiveness, we will be forgiven. Then he said, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive...

No matter how hard is to work to redirect your anger in positive ways, there will always be times when we “lose it” and behave inappropriately. When this happens (and more importantly, before it happens), I find that it helps to have a collection of Scriptures to...

  At times in my life, I experienced situations when I felt stuck in my anger and struggled to gain control over it. I learned that the longer we hold on to anger, the harder it can be to let go. Using journaling as therapy can help overcome toxic anger and...

While we might understand how anger can fuel more tension in relationships, it’s not always easy to find creative ways to deal with anger and use it as a helpful source of energy. The goal is not to get rid of anger, but to take that raw energy and turn it into...

I am a member of a private club. It’s made up of several friends and some relatives. We all understand how we can experience relief and grief when an elderly parent passes away after years of declining health. I became a member when my mother, Goldie, died on June 10,...