Growing up I loved to say, “I can do it myself!” It meant I was getting stronger, more capable and resourceful. I was a big girl.
But as I savor my new planting of tulips and daffodils, they remind me I cannot do it all myself.
In September, I excitedly bought a bag of spring bulbs. What a wonderful addition they would be for my garden. I had the perfect place for them.
In the middle of November I discovered the full bag still on a garage shelf. The weather had turned bitter and I needed to plant those bulbs before the ground froze. Also, I was leaving the next day for a week. Because I had a bad cold and fever, I wondered if I even had energy to finish the laundry and pack my suitcase.
As much as I hated to ask, I called a friend and asked her if she could plant the bulbs. She quickly agreed and within minutes after she arrived, she completed the job.
Maybe you, too, prefer to help others but dread asking for a favor. Like a child, you want to be independent, capable and resourceful. You may even be prideful of the things you can accomplish on your own. But are you willing to admit the times you, too, need help from God and others?
If you’re struggling to ask for help, I encourage you to re-frame your thinking and realize that:
Asking for help can lower your feelings of stress
We know that constant never-ending stress is harmful to our well-being. Being part of a caring community and having social support can counteract much of the toxic strain on us. Recently, I felt depressed about an ongoing challenge. I texted two friends sharing my struggles. Within hours, each of them reached out to me and boosted my spirits. Once again, God showed me the great strength in friendships and close connections.
It takes courage to ask for assistance
Requesting assistance is not a sign of weakness. Instead of being prideful, take the risk and ask for support, encouragement or advice. When I shared my down-in-the-dumps feelings with my friends, they could have ignored me as both have very hectic lives. I could have felt rejected or worse. I took a chance and am glad I did.
We are not only dependent on God, but apart from him we can do nothing
Recently someone said to me, “God helps them who help themselves.” That quote is not in Scripture, and from experience I know God supports the weak and powerless. In John 15:5 (NLT) Jesus reminds us, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” Jesus made it clear that unless we have a vibrant connection with him, whatever we do accomplish on our own has no eternal value.
Dependence on God brings glory to him
If we stay connected to Jesus, we will not only do much, but our fruitfulness honors God. “When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father” (John 15:8 NLT).
If you are beating yourself up for not being able to do more by yourself, remember it doesn’t mean you are helpless like a child. It’s a sign of spiritual maturity to lean on God to empower you and accept a helping hand.
Now as I relish the spring beauty of my recently planted tulips and daffodils, I realize how foolish it is even attempting to do everything by myself.
Interested in being coached? What might be sucking the life out of you? If you want to address this issue or move forward in another way, there are a couple of openings for new clients right one.
Here’s one email I recently received from a client:
Georgia, I want you to understand how gifted you are at coaching. Thank you for leading me to discover for myself the truth I need to grasp. Thank you for drawing/pushing/urging/challenging me to wrestle.
Teaching me that wrestling is good. That waiting for pain and fear to go away won’t work. Reminding me to stay close to Jesus, and to listen to Him. And so much more . . .
If you would like to schedule a discovery call to see if coaching with Georgia is a good fit for you, go to Georgia Shaffer Discovery Call. You can also email Georgia@GeorgiaShaffer.com or call 888-664-5679.
