During this holiday season, you may find you are trying to do too many things and failing to get the rest you need. For instance, you’ve been snappish toward co-workers and you’re frequently on the verge of an argument with your spouse or friend, ready to lash out. Instead of letting those emotions get the best of you, maybe you paused, working to begin identifying emotions, but still struggled to sort things out.
I’ve been there too. I’ve found taking a pause is a step in the right direction, but in the moment I still can’t always put words around the way I feel. I know I’m upset but am I feeling misunderstood? Am I jealous? Or am I wallowing in self-pity?
I’ve learned that instead of stewing about these kinds of situations, I can take action by taking some time for reflection and attempt to name what I’m feeling. Even though this may sound simplistic, it’s not always easy. When I have a lot of thoughts and emotions running around in my head and heart, I use a list of “feeling words” to help me choose. Glancing over the words reminds me of the many descriptions available and helps me clarify what I’m feeling.
Simply reading through a list of emotions may not be enough. There are several additional ways to recognize what you’re feeling. Today, we’ll walk through three ways of identifying emotions and cover three additional methods in our next newsletter article.
Identifying Emotions by Praying for Direction and Clarity
Communicating with God in an honest way isn’t always pretty, but you can be assured that God will not reject you because he loves you. And he already knows how you’re feeling, so he won’t be surprised or shocked.
To identify your feelings in prayer, start with the word “I.” For instance, when I’m upset, I tell God that although I understand he is in control and I will trust him, I don’t like what he has allowed to happen. Starting with the word “I” helps me unravel what’s going on inside of me.
Praying not only helps you identify your emotions, but it also reduces your tendency to dwell on them, which keeps you from getting more upset. With God’s help you can gain more control of your feelings so you can let go of them or transform them into something constructive. Always ask, “Is this something I need to talk with God about before I call a friend?”
Read Scripture
Acknowledging your feelings doesn’t mean ignoring the truths from Scripture. Feelings come and go. Just because you feel something is true doesn’t mean it is true.
As you read the Bible during your turmoil, ask God to show you His truths. Here are some questions you can ask God as you delve into his Word:
- What do You want to show me about me in this passage?
- What do You want to show me about You in this passage?
- How do You want me to respond to the situation I’m dealing with?
- What truth am I ignoring?
You may also want to ask God to lead you to the verses you need right now.
Journal Your Thoughts and Experiences
All the distractions of daily living can leave you feeling stretched and scattered. When you take the time to write and reflect, you can better focus on what’s bugging you. Sometimes you can see a recent issue more clearly, while at other times you may gain a fresh perspective on an old problem. Journaling also lets you write about your hurts and frustrations without being concerned you’ll offend someone or reveal something you might later regret. And there’s no one to mock your feelings or berate your views.
Journaling is one of the best ways I’ve found to work through things. My journal is a safe place to shed my irritations, unload toxic thoughts, and determine what I’m feeling. Sometimes I start by writing a brief description of the incident that is bothering me. Other times I begin by pouring out my feelings. Either way, the process helps me gain clarity as I pull out or externalize what’s going on inside of me emotionally.
I invite you to meet me back here me in a couple of weeks when I’ll share about identifying emotions by talking with someone you trust, physical activity, and rest and renewal.
Warmly,
Georgia
P.S. Today’s content was adapted from Taking Out Your Emotional Trash. If you’d like to read more, you can purchase your copy of the book here. https://georgiashaffer.com/shop/books/taking-out-your-emotional-trash/
Or if you prefer to work with a coach as you work to overcome difficult habits, you can find out more information at www.GeorgiaShaffer.com/coaching/
“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’” James 4:6 (ESV).
