Sometimes we feel afraid for good reason. Other times, it holds us back. Is fear protecting or controlling you? How do you know?

As an adult, you might think of fear as something to avoid at all costs. As a child, you were told, don’t be afraid but be strong. Some fears protect you while others can consume you and lead to irrational choices. So, is fear protecting or controlling you? How do you know?

Begin by being aware of when you feel frightened or deeply concerned about something. A friend and her husband had been in turmoil for months about whether to sell their home and move into something smaller or just stay where they are. They are both retired. “Right now,  property is selling fast,” she said. “Many homeowners are getting their listed price and sometimes up to $50,000 more. And we have had water in our basement 3 times in the last five years.”

Each time I met with her for our spiritual friendship group, this issue came up. She had no peace. She said, “We could get a lot more for our home now than we would have even a few months ago.”

“But won’t you have to pay more for the home you buy? Won’t it even out financially?”

“Yes, that’s true. Besides, we haven’t found anything we like. I’m wondering if I’m just terrified of a torrential downpour.”

“So, fear is underneath your desire to sell?”

“Probably. I need to pray more about this.”

A week later she reported, “I have total peace about staying right where we are. We are going to get another sump pump in case we get more water in the basement. We will continue to enjoy the beautiful view from our deck. Our home looks great.”

Turns out the real reason they wanted to sell was the uncertainty of getting water in their basement. In the past, they had successfully removed the water without mold or any other damage. Yet, this nagging fear of what might happen was trying to dictate her choices.

Is Fear Protecting or Controlling You?

Like my friend, once you identify a fear, consider the following:

A fear might protect you if:

• there is a real danger to you or others.

You’ve learned it’s not safe to walk on thin ice or pick up a poisonous snake. Those kinds of fears will keep you safe.

• there is a sense of dread or apprehension.

You describe the fear as experiencing a nudge from the Holy Spirit. Or you have a nagging feeling that something is not right. Either way, you don’t want to discount your instincts. Especially when you understand we do have some brain neurons in our stomach. You might have heard someone say, “I just had this gut feeling there was a problem.”

A fear can control you if it:

• limits your ability to grow in some area.

For example, someone who needs to grieve over a loss may try to avoid it by numbing the emotions because they fear the pain will destroy them. Or, if you’re afraid to take a risk at work, this may limit your ability to grow professionally.

• prevents you from being who God created you to be.

If you are trying to be someone you aren’t so you won’t be rejected, then it’s hard to live according to God’s design for you. Fear that you won’t be seen as successful, perfect, smart or wealthy can hinder your ability to be the person God created you to be.

• compromises your values.

Those who are single or divorced often convince themselves that finding someone who shares their faith is not important. Thinking their standards are too high, they settle for something or someone far less than God’s best. Maybe someone has a problem with pornography, drinking or credit card debt, the single person believes those circumstances will miraculously change for the better.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

~ Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB ~

Our goal is not to eliminate all fear. But we want to identify the emotion and reflect on what may fuel it. Start today. Ask yourself, what are your top two fears?

I would love to hear from you so I can pray for you.

Father, give us wisdom and eyes to see what fears protect us and what fears may consume us and lead to poor choices.

Warmly,

Georgia

P.S. – Want more on this topic? Be sure to check out my Facebook LIVE about my top 3 tips for when you are paralyzed by fear — just click here!

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