| Many of us, with time to slow down and reflect during the Corona Virus lockdown, are considering making changes in our lives. Perhaps you’re contemplating a different career or job like we talked about last week. Or maybe you’re challenging the lies you believe or making modifications to your lifestyle to help you (finally) improve your health.
Making a genuine change is far from easy. It is hard work. It takes focus and discipline. Even when you want to do things differently, you can unintentionally undermine your progress. If you are struggling to move forward, consider these four steps to minimize your resistance:
1. Identify it
Pay attention to how you might undermine your progress. Let’s say you want to lose weight and eat healthy, but every afternoon you get a snack attack. Out comes the chocolate you’ve hidden in your desk at work. Or at home you devour the entire bag of chips and then pig out on the ice cream in your freezer. If you are serious about losing weight, you will need to take some action to stop this cycle. Identify and deal with your resistance.
2. Address it
When you ignore the ways you resist change, along with the inner debate it brings, you only create more obstacles and problems for yourself. You doubt your ability to make actual progress or you allow discouragement to take over. Continuing our example above, you will need to address the problem by challenging your thoughts, facing your feelings, and purging your house and your desk area of all junk food. Throw away your “emergency” stash of chocolate. Yes, it’s painful, but it’s also empowering.
3. Normalize it
As a life coach, I’ve seen people struggle with change, even a desired change. This struggle is often a necessary part of making modifications to our behaviors. Instead of wasting time beating yourself up or being disappointed with your efforts, recognize that you can glean important information from your resistance. It’s typical to resist change. Take time to talk with God about your thoughts, feelings or actions.
4. Express it
Give a voice to your concerns, fears and the inner debate. Ask yourself:
Is this change realistic? Maybe you impulsively decided to exercise six days a week. But now you realize that was an unrealistic goal given your schedule and responsibilities. Maybe working out three times a week is more doable and something you will commit to and stick with long term.
Am I being forced out of my comfort zone? Perhaps you’re motivated to make a change, but it’s hard to eat less when you enjoy eating so much. It’s difficult to cut back on desserts when they give you pleasure. Change is usually not comfortable. In fact, it can be painful. When you recognize that truth, visualize the benefits, and adjust your expectations, you are more apt to endure the discomfort.
Is this change costing me more than I thought? Maybe your “Corona Resolution” was a terrible idea. Or it might have been an excellent idea, but it’s not God’s best for you right now. You recklessly moved forward with it, not allowing time to be still and pray about your choice. If a goal is threatening the things you value most, like relationships with your family and friends, maybe it’s time to reevaluate and set new goals.
When Change Is Hard…
What do you do when you find, like Apostle Paul, that you do not do what you want to do while doing the thing that you hate (Romans 7:15)? Don’t beat yourself up. Remember self-determination isn’t always the answer. Pray for God’s wisdom and strength, rest and rely on Him for real transformation in your life.
What changes do you want to make in your life? Are you finding it harder than you expected? Please hit reply and let me know how I can pray for you. |
