Each year Oxford Dictionaries picks one word that reflects the culture, the mood or the concerns of the year. They picked the word “toxic” for 2018. One reason listed was there was “a 45% rise in the number of times people looked it up on oxforddictionaries.com.” While we use “toxic” in different contexts, such as “toxic gas” and “toxic environment,” what interested me was that Oxford lists “toxic relationship” in the top ten contexts the word was used.
It is good for us to recognize, as well as minimize, those relationships that are consistently hurtful and destructive to who God created us to be. But instead of dwelling on the toxicity of some relationships, this Christmas season choose to be intentional and counteract those negative interactions by:
- Embracing and strengthening your relationship with Jesus.
It takes real work not to be consumed by activities surrounding Christmas. This morning I was thinking about the gifts I need to buy, the cards I have not sent and the decorations still in the boxes piled in my living room. But I know what will happen if I continue making those tasks a priority rather than nurturing my relationship with Jesus. I will become cranky, focused on myself and have little left to give to others. I will become overly sensitive and every potentially negative comment will offend me. But I’ve found, spending time with Christ has the restorative power to heal the most damaging and deepest wounds inflicted by others.
- Shifting your perspective from what you can’t afford to how you can enrich your relationships with your family and friends.
I am guilty of always thinking I don’t have enough money to give what I want to give. For example, I would love to give my son and his wife new carpet or flooring for their home. Instead of concentrating on what I don’t have, I can consider, “What do I have to give?” Over the years, the encouraging notes, texts and prayers I consistently send to my son and his wife has helped to neutralize the negative messages they receive from the world around them. Remember, no matter how insignificant those notes may seem, “Kind words are like honey-sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” Proverbs 16:24 (NLT).
Early this morning, I sent a prayer to a friend who emailed, “Kindness is always such a wonderful thing to wake up to. I so appreciate you taking the time to send me a message of encouragement.”
- Focusing on little ways you can be kind to those who cross your path this season.
Even the briefest positive interaction can be therapeutic to someone has had a difficult day. Recently, a customer service representative went out of her way to help me solve an ongoing issue. When I expressed my appreciation, she said, “I wish my supervisor would say something nice during this hectic time of year.”
We can’t eliminate the toxic effect of a nasty boss or rude clerk, but what does it cost us to give encouragement to someone who is discouraged? Can you give a listening ear to a lonely person? Or life-giving hope to those who are sure their circumstances will never improve? The gift of acceptance, rather than a judgmental attitude, can do much to benefit those around us.
During this busy season let’s be intentional to pause and reflect on our words and actions. Are they restorative and blessing others? Or are they damaging and destructive to people around us? Let’s make the world a more pleasant, healthier, less toxic place for everyone.
