How are you doing on moving toward those goals you set last January? Are you satisfied with the progress you’re making to become more organized, shed those extra pounds, spend more time with your family or get in shape?
Even the best intentions to eat well, exercise, and improve the quality of our relationships can be sabotaged by last year’s emotional trash. Emotional trash being those negative thoughts, feelings and attitudes we hold onto such as petty grudges, unresolved anger, or destructive guilt. If not dealt with and removed, our emotional trash creates many problems in our lives. For example, experts say avoiding, hiding, or soothing our feelings with food (emotional eating) is one of the main reasons we fail to stick to our diets. As you work to maintain or improve your health and wellbeing in 2011, here are three questions that can help you identify those damaging emotions.
What am I ignoring that is weighing me down?
How often has someone made a hurtful comment that you brushed aside. “No big deal,” you tell yourself. “Don’t we all have times when someone hurts our feelings?”
Or maybe you’re disappointed in something you said to your husband or ashamed of your overreaction to a co-worker.
Choosing to ignore or hide these seemingly little hurts, disappointments or shame allows them to pile up and create more pain. Whether you’re discouraged or disappointed, acknowledge your feelings and find ways of expressing them before they control you. Constructive outlets can include journaling, talking to a safe friend or counselor and going for a walk.
What have I grown use to that is weighing me down?
It’s a subtle, gradual process where one day you’re aware you’re holding onto a grudge but then slowly over time this resentment becomes so much a part of you that you don’t even know it is there. Like living near a fast food restaurant at first you’re aware of all the smells but after awhile you don’t even know they exist.
Forgiveness is a choice we make, as well as a process we work through. Once you choose to let go of any grudges or bitterness, be willing to work through and resolve your sadness, anger or betrayal in order to heal on a deeper level.
What am I blinded to that is weighing me down?
We all have blind spots – which are our inability to see things as they really are. The best way to see our own junk is through prayer and time for personal reflection. Another way to see what you can’t see is to seek the advice of godly people who share your values and you’ve learned to trust. Many times these people can help you identify the lies, hurts, and pains you unknowingly still carry from the past.
As you take stock of your life, be committed to get rid of any weighty emotional trash. Dump that junk before you sabotage your goals or your closest relationships!
Adapted from Georgia’s book Taking Out Your Emotional Trash.
