Have you ever said . . .
- “On most days, I can make it all work, but I’m stressed out and definitely not enjoying my life.”
- “I’m usually cranky and irritable with _______. I feel angry or anxious most of the time.”
- “I’m tired, tired, tired.
- “At any given moment I’m at the breaking point.”
- “I just want to run away for a day or a week.”
When we fail to pay attention to our limits, rather than accept and accommodate them, our relationships suffer. Sometimes the consequences of overextending ourselves and exhausting our reserves are minor, and sometimes the consequences lead to irreparable damage-maybe a broken friendship.
Authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz write, “We give almost no attention to renewing and expanding our energy reserves. To maintain a powerful pulse in our lives, we must learn how to rhythmically spend and renew energy.”[i]
In this newsletter we will focus on learning to rhythmically spend and renew our limited energy. The first thing we need to do is recognize the signs of being near empty. Once we realize we are depleted or almost depleted, then we need to carve out time for rest and renewal. We all need to create or save space in our schedules for times of refreshing.
You might be wondering, “How can I put one more thing in my day or my week!”
Emily, one of my coaching clients, felt just like you. She was so busy, she said, “I missed things that should have concerned me, but as the hectic pace of my life sped up, I was lulled into thinking this driven pace was normal. My perceptions were dulled to the point that I did not even notice how tightly packed my schedule had become. As a result, I remained trapped in a vicious cycle of busyness because I had no extra time to notice how chaotic my life was.”
As Emily discovered when her son starting having problems, the sooner you recognize when you’re trying to live beyond your limits, the more quickly and easily you can do something to correct the situation.
The key to getting off the frantic treadmill is periodically to choose a few places to say no or wait. Right now, take a minute to ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do today or this week to create space?”
Here are some ideas: What activities can you delay? What tasks can you delegate? Maybe there is a commitment from which you can ask to be released.
After you have cleared something off your calendar, then you will have time to do something for your own renewal. Think about what kinds of things tend to give you energy. Choose something that refreshes and rejuvenates you. Take a nap or curl up with a good novel. Whatever you choose, give yourself permission to rest and relax.
In Mark 6:31Jesus tells his disciples, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” You will feel much better when you do the same.
[i] Quoted in Ruth Haley Barton, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books 2008), 121. She has source listed as Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, The Power of Full Engagement (New York: Free Press, 2003, 29-30.
