Most of us know how easy it is to allow emotions to get the best of you, especially this time of year. It’s hard to sort things out, identify feelings, and gain clarity. Are we frustrated, disappointed, hurt, overwhelmed, or resentful? A recent post shared about using the helpful practices of prayer, Scripture reading, and journaling to pinpoint swirling emotions. Today we’ll cover three additional methods.
Talk with Someone You Trust to Help Identify Feelings
Talking to a caring friend, pastor, counselor, or a good listener can help. With help, we can clarify the issues and find the right words to express our emotions. All of us want and need people in our lives who will love us and accept us as we are. We need those who aren’t afraid to tell us the truth. I’m blessed to have several such friends. However, if I ignore what they say, if I’m close-minded to their views, or if I become defensive about my perspective, their wisdom won’t help me at all.
I recall a time when I was upset someone attacked me verbally. Or at least that’s how I perceived it. When I discussed the incident with two people who had witnessed the event, they both told me they thought I was tired at the time and had overreacted. I considered what they said and realized they were right.
I felt confused about what my feelings on another occasion. A wise friend said, “Georgia, this isn’t your issue. Just remember some people are better loved at a distance.” Although I had to deal with the fallout from the situation, I could move on. Other people, especially the ones who share our values, can help us see what we might overlook. We all have blind spots. We don’t see every situation as it really is. Because of these mental distortions, we can minimize or exaggerate our role in a situation.
Get Physically Active
Moving your body is a great way to sort things out. Walking, jogging, lifting weights, cleaning the house, kneading dough, woodworking, carpentry, and digging in the dirt are some physical activities that may enable you to think more clearly. I’m an avid gardener, and there were many days where I’ve been able to dig down to the bottom of my feelings as I weeded, pruned, and hoed.
A friend of mine once became so upset at a coworker that she couldn’t sit still at her desk. She left the building and paced up and down the sidewalk for a few minutes, feeling a jumble of emotions and not being able to get a handle on them. She said she felt as if she would explode.
Just then she spied a patch of tall weeds in a flowerbed around the corner that must have been overlooked by the groundskeeper. I might as well make myself useful, she thought. If I could only pull out that person like I pull out weeds. She carefully maneuvered between the bushes so as not to dirty her clothing, bent down, and pulled out the weeds. As she did, she could feel her emotions settling one by one.
Take Time for Rest and Renewal
When we exhause our physical and mental resources, it is extremely difficult to accurately discern what we’re feeling. Our abilities to read a situation correctly and think clearly may be impaired. If we fail to take the time to rest and replenish our depleted resources, we can get caught in a vicious cycle of listening and considering and heeding the voices and opinions of those around us whether they are true or not.
Sometimes we only need a good night’s rest to identify feelings and discern what’s going on. Other times we may need more sleep or some time to sit quietly. I know a man who had some hard thinking to do so he “borrowed” a friend’s secluded backyard that was bordered by woods. The man spent several days on a lawn chair, resting and relaxing as he watched the birds and small critters. This quiet vacation gave him the clarity he needed to deal with his feelings on an important issue.
Moving Forward
Once we put these practices into play, we’ll begin to identify feelings and gain clarity. Remember, if life begins to look overwhelming again, stop and pray for the Holy Spirit’s leading. Praise God for the work of awareness and healing he’s taking you through. And congratulate yourself on a job well done. You aren’t hiding from the issues or drowning in a mess of emotions anymore. You’re up to the task of ditching the trash. Rejoice in this big step toward a new life approach.
Warmly,
Georgia
P.S. Today’s content was adapted from Taking Out Your Emotional Trash. If you’d like to read more, you can purchase your copy of the book here.
Or if you prefer to work with a coach as you work to overcome difficult habits, you can find out more information at www.GeorgiaShaffer.com/coaching/
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV).
May you and your family enjoy the gift of Jesus and the beauty of this Christmas.
